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Bruces' Philosophers Song Lyrics

Artist: Monty Python
Album: Sings

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram

And René Descartes was a drunken fart
I drink, therefore I am

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed


by bob on 5/24/2008 7:01am
i just did a great big greasy pooism, death metal is cool!
by jesse on 7/23/2008 1:50pm
monty python owns! i love them!
by funkyfreshj on 7/23/2008 1:54pm
omg this song is flipping hilarious! i love monty python! :)
by stix on 12/2/2008 4:21pm
um u may want to check out these lyrics u got a bunch of the philosophers wrong but maybe its different in the live version. american beer is like making love in a canoe. . .its fucking close to water
by DJC on 10/12/2011 10:42am
Hmmm I drink therefore I am.
by Krista Lġivukene on 4/20/2012 12:27pm
This song was my birthday gift and now my phone song. It is great. I love classical education, but normal circustances. My self, I am very resistant, but the others?
My question is why/warum: 300 or 3000 papers when 3 three are suficient? That is the problem.
by Mr. T on 11/29/2012 2:02am
I pity the fool
by StevieC on 3/15/2013 6:18pm
Australians loved to be lampooned by MP. Their skit on Australian table wine is another classic..yes they were that bad once.
by Ace on 4/18/2013 2:08pm
SORRY I HATE DOING THIS BUT I HAVE TO!sorry about this when you are reading this dont stop or something bad will happen! My name is summer i am 15 years old i have blonde hair,many scars no nose or ears..i am dead.if you dont copy this just like from the ring, on 5 more sites.. or..i will appear one dark quiet night when your not expecting it by your bed with a knife and kill you. this is no joke something good will happen to you if you post this on 5 more page
by fringis on 1/11/2014 11:42pm
was chatting up a philosophy student at a party, whipped out a a spoken word of this, she thought I was insulting her
by Scottie th Engineer on 8/18/2017 2:48pm
This helped me remember the major important European philosophers for my philosophy 412 class discussion at Wittenberg.
Thanks guys.
What a hoot! !!

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