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Every Sperm Is Sacred Lyrics

Artist: Monty Python
Album: The Meaning Of Life

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
Comments/Interpretations
by MMM on 6/28/2008 12:53pm
thanks!:D
by Dac on 8/7/2008 12:58pm
I thought the solo child was a choir boy, not a girl.
by basiledes on 8/8/2008 12:00pm
w0t
by london_boy92 on 9/4/2008 2:07pm
lol i thought it was a choirboy as well!
by George on 10/28/2008 6:40pm
Nah, it's a girl. =)
by 111 on 11/20/2008 10:57am
WAT A WASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Fatman on 12/18/2008 10:22am
It's a girl. I don't know if you all get the bigger picture, about making fun of musicals that will do a song and dance number on just about anything. You can't get any better than Python.
by Katie on 1/3/2009 5:47am
Hahahaha
I love monty python :)
'You're a Catholic the moment Dad came' always makes me laugh.
by littleheartless on 1/11/2009 4:06pm
pure stupidity at its finest =]
by Epiphanie on 1/27/2009 3:52am
I saw the film just yesterday and it is surely a girl :o)
by Clover on 3/6/2009 10:55pm
definatly a girl,

but I love monty python and this song they are both beautiful ;D
by Tack {:-D on 3/11/2009 12:58am
It is the funniest song in the whole film and just listen to it's voice, it is so a girl!
by scate man on 3/17/2009 3:35am
mmmmmmmmmmmmm I like that.
by nettersly on 3/25/2009 11:20am
The funniest thing is that the little girl is so serious and obviously has no idea what she is singing about. Mountain, hill, or plain, Python kills me.
by Del on 5/18/2009 12:19am
It never ceases to amuse me - it's my favorite song I think I'll have it played at my funeral! In fact they can show the video of it! So why don't I have the whole movie played!And the others!How about the TV series as well!
PS can anyone point me in the direction of the Cheese Shop lyrics

by Katie on 9/19/2009 3:27pm
Haha, I'm a Catholic, and this song never ceases to make me laugh.
by David on 9/22/2009 9:37pm
Actually, I get the feeling that the choir boy/girl knows exactly what he/she is talking about.
by I on 9/29/2009 12:50pm
;D I love it
by Derek on 10/10/2009 6:11pm
Love that song
by montypythonrules on 10/21/2009 12:36pm
this is the funniest song ever
by Frizzle on 9/4/2010 8:01am
The girl has such a beautiful voice!
by Roger on 10/29/2010 5:21am
The girl in the picture is not the girl singing. They dubbed in the voice of another girl that they liked better.

Also when Palin says "If they'd only let me wear one of those little rubber things on the end of my cock..." he actually said "sock" out of sensibility for the children. The word "cock" was dubbed in later.
by fleidermaus on 7/21/2011 8:56am
It's a girl singing, Dummkopf! Watch the movie!
by DavidHarlem on 12/19/2011 3:45pm
This is the Tea Party marching song!
by uty on 2/9/2012 1:51pm
ha ha great song
by Katrinka on 2/15/2012 6:20pm
It's the Dugger's family anthem!
by wisdom4you on 3/15/2012 11:52pm
am passing it on ... of course :-)
by BenDover on 4/30/2012 9:16am
The really sad thing about the song is that it is the core belief of the catholic church and republicans.
by DeadParrot on 5/1/2012 12:38pm
Mr. Dover,
I hope your comment was a joke. It would be ignorant to simplify the Catholic pro-life position with a song by Monty Python.

"Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?"
by Catholic_Boy on 9/5/2012 2:24pm
As a catholic who can laugh at himself I approve of this song. XD
by Lamindica on 1/24/2013 8:50pm
I love to quote this song when the right to lifers start making noise.
by Ian Foster on 1/26/2013 12:25pm
Alright what have the Romans ever done for us?
by Geralconca on 6/12/2013 6:24pm
Love the intenet...I thought of this scene and lyrics and "googled" it and here I am...thank you for the "ease"


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