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Bruces' Philosophy Song Lyrics

Artist: Monty Python
Album: Live At The Hollywood Bowl

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And Ren Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

Comments/Interpretations

by brad on 7/31/2008 12:33pm
i heard wilhelm frederick heigel

by Fez on 8/20/2008 9:22am
Did the Pythons write the "I'm pink therefore I'm Spam" quote

by python on 12/12/2008 1:59am
I don't really know

by Sean on 4/10/2009 7:21pm
"I drink therefore I am." Best line ever.

by Logan on 9/4/2009 1:05pm
I second Sean

by Em on 7/3/2010 7:38pm
the whole song rox my sox! i am a HUGE monty python fan!

by matt on 9/2/2010 4:29am
i got the CD Monty Python Sings, and im sure they sing wilhelm freidrich hegel

by Pedantics on 10/30/2010 5:38pm
come on, its a great song, lets to bicker and argue about which lyric is which. This is a happy time. hahah

by Mike Turner on 12/2/2010 7:10am
I wrote "I'm pink therefore I'm spam." and "I am whatever you say I am, if I wasn't then why would I say I am." and "Everything is physics, but physics isn't everything." ...

by Ravensun on 4/26/2011 2:06pm
There are two versions: one with 'Schopenhauer and Hegel' and one with 'Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.' Both are canonical/correct/OK.

by Mravac Kid on 7/6/2012 8:24pm
Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table. Well, at least at the Hollywood Bowl. :)

by finelineBob on 12/6/2012 8:07pm
I see what you did there, Pedantics ... teehee, very nice.

by Max on 7/10/2021 3:36am
Who cares!