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Living With A Hernia Lyrics

Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Album: Polka Party

All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
{Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss}
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss

{Living with a hernia}
All the time, such aggravation
{Living with a hernia}
Gonna be my ruination
{Living with a hernia}
Got to have an operation

Feel so old

Too much bad pain
Good gawd, drives me insane
Can't run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall
Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl
{You can't even do the splits now...Better call it quits now}
I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow

{Living with a hernia}
Hurts me bad in a tender location
{Living with a hernia}
Had enough humiliation
{Living with a hernia}
Got to have an operation

{I live with a hernia}
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now... {I live with a hernia}

Wait a minute...

You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in

There's Incomplete {Incomplete}
Epigastric {Epigastric}
Bladder {Bladder}
Strangulated {Strangulated}
Lumbar hernia {Lumbar hernia}
Richter's hernia {Richter's hernia}
Obstructed {Obstructed}
Inguinal and Direct

{Living with a hernia}...Rupture!
I said it's causin' me such irritation
{Living with a hernia}
Have to have my medication
{Living with a hernia}

I feel bad!
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