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Every Sperm Is Sacred Lyrics

Artist: Monty Python
Album: The Meaning Of Life

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

Comments/Interpretations

by MMM on 6/28/2008 12:53pm
thanks!:D

by Dac on 8/7/2008 12:58pm
I thought the solo child was a choir boy, not a girl.

by basiledes on 8/8/2008 12:00pm
w0t

by london_boy92 on 9/4/2008 2:07pm
lol i thought it was a choirboy as well!

by George on 10/28/2008 6:40pm
Nah, it's a girl. =)

by 111 on 11/20/2008 10:57am
WAT A WASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Fatman on 12/18/2008 10:22am
It's a girl. I don't know if you all get the bigger picture, about making fun of musicals that will do a song and dance number on just about anything. You can't get any better than Python.

by littleheartless on 1/11/2009 4:06pm
pure stupidity at its finest =]

by Epiphanie on 1/27/2009 3:52am
I saw the film just yesterday and it is surely a girl :o)

by Tack {:-D on 3/11/2009 12:58am
It is the funniest song in the whole film and just listen to it's voice, it is so a girl!

by scate man on 3/17/2009 3:35am
mmmmmmmmmmmmm I like that.

by nettersly on 3/25/2009 11:20am
The funniest thing is that the little girl is so serious and obviously has no idea what she is singing about. Mountain, hill, or plain, Python kills me.

by Katie on 9/19/2009 3:27pm
Haha, I'm a Catholic, and this song never ceases to make me laugh.

by David on 9/22/2009 9:37pm
Actually, I get the feeling that the choir boy/girl knows exactly what he/she is talking about.

by I on 9/29/2009 12:50pm
;D I love it

by Derek on 10/10/2009 6:11pm
Love that song

by montypythonrules on 10/21/2009 12:36pm
this is the funniest song ever

by Frizzle on 9/4/2010 8:01am
The girl has such a beautiful voice!

by fleidermaus on 7/21/2011 8:56am
It's a girl singing, Dummkopf! Watch the movie!

by DavidHarlem on 12/19/2011 3:45pm
This is the Tea Party marching song!

by uty on 2/9/2012 1:51pm
ha ha great song

by Katrinka on 2/15/2012 6:20pm
It's the Dugger's family anthem!

by wisdom4you on 3/15/2012 11:52pm
am passing it on ... of course :-)

by BenDover on 4/30/2012 9:16am
The really sad thing about the song is that it is the core belief of the catholic church and republicans.

by Catholic_Boy on 9/5/2012 2:24pm
As a catholic who can laugh at himself I approve of this song. XD

by Lamindica on 1/24/2013 8:50pm
I love to quote this song when the right to lifers start making noise.

by Ian Foster on 1/26/2013 12:25pm
Alright what have the Romans ever done for us?

by Luna on 1/19/2015 7:51am
i love this song!

by A European Swallow on 8/1/2015 11:48pm
I listened to this song on repeat while writing a poem. It is VERY catchy!

by CRISTINA RENDUELES on 5/28/2016 9:45pm
just brilliant

by Robert Alter on 2/25/2017 11:12pm
Several of the child actors later admitted to not having a clue what they were singing about.

by That one Gay kid on 12/5/2017 10:23am
Thats enough, now its time for medical experiments for the lot of ya!