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Penis Dimension LyricsArtist: Frank Zappa
Album: 200 Motels
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)
Penis dimension is worrying me.
I can't hardly sleep at night
'Cause of penis dimension
Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?
Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan ...
That the size of your cock is not monstrous enough?
It's your penis dimension!
Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah
Hiya friends. Now just be honest about it. Did you ever consider the possibliity that your penis, and in the case of many dignified ladies, that the size of the titties themselves might provide elements of subconscious tension? Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a human being to have to become a politician. A policeman. A jesuit monk. A rock and roll guitar player. A wino. You name it. Or in the case of the ladies, the ones that can't afford a silicone beef-up, may become writers of hot books.
"Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim."
Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns.
"Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her slithering slit." Ha ha ha!
Ooh, or racehorse jockeys. There is no reason why you, or your loved one should suffer. Things are bad enough, without the size of your organ adding even more misery to the troubles of the world.
Right on, right on!
Now, if your a lady and you've got munchkin tits, you can console yourself with this age-old line from primary school:
Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Anything over a mouthful, is wasted.
Yes! and isn't it the truth? And if you're a guy, one night you're at a party and you're trying to be cool, I mean, you aren't even wearing any underwear your being so cool, and somebody hits on you one night, and looks you up and down and he says uh,
Eight inches or less?
Well let me tell you, brother, that's the time when you got to turn around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes. And you got to tell him these words:
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