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Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot) Lyrics

Artist: Adam Sandler
Album: Stan And Judy's Kid

He said heâ‚¬â„¢d be here at seven
The clock just hit 7:22
Itâ‚¬â„¢s too cold outside
To wait for my ride
Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins)

He said heâ‚¬â„¢d be here at seven
But it just hit 7:35 (already?)
Here in Brockton, Mass.,
I got my thumb in my ass
Mamaâ‚¬â„¢s combing up a big beehive (Celtics)

Where the fuck is he?
Where the fuck is he?

The bitch doesnâ‚¬â„¢t even bother calling
Even though itâ‚¬â„¢s 7:44 (I fell asleep, pally)
Iâ‚¬â„¢m feeling kinda antsy
Mamaâ‚¬â„¢s getting fancy
Slicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox)

He said heâ‚¬â„¢d be here at seven
Itâ‚¬â„¢s closing in on 8:01 (Trimminâ‚¬â„¢ the â‚¬Ëœstache, kid)
Me lookinâ‚¬â„¢ like a sap
In a wool knit cap
Mamaâ‚¬â„¢s next move is a bun (fuckinâ‚¬â„¢ Patriots)

Where the fuck is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude)
Where the fuck is he? (I couldnâ‚¬â„¢t find my fuckinâ‚¬â„¢ snowboots, pal)
I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover)
Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive)

That stupid little punk
Heâ‚¬â„¢s probably fuckinâ‚¬â„¢ drunk
I bet he drank a case
Wanna pop him in the face right now
Mamaâ‚¬â„¢s eyebrow

Wicked good
Wicked good (Oh, GOD)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Fuck yeah)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Pisser?)

Well my friend is still a no-show
And Iâ‚¬â„¢m gettingâ‚¬â„¢ fucking pissed (Why?)
â‚¬ËœCause I couldâ‚¬â„¢ve gone with Charlie
In the side of his Harley
Mamaâ‚¬â„¢s on the phone with a stylist (Fuck Charlie!)

So I guess I ainâ‚¬â„¢t going out tonight
â‚¬ËœCause the digits say 12:09 (Shit-faced)
But call the operator
â‚¬ËœCause one perm later
Mamaâ‚¬â„¢s hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!)

Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellinâ‚¬â„¢ me a wicked funny
joke!)
Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! I forgot it thoughâ‚¬)

I wish I had a car
I wish I had a car (A cop pulled me over, buddy)

I wish I went with Charlie (5.2 blood level, state record)
I could have gone with Charlie (Iâ‚¬â„¢m in a wicked mess of trouble, haha!)

He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He got a D.W.I. (Up the river [repeat 9x])

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