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Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot) Lyrics

Artist: Adam Sandler
Album: Stan And Judy's Kid

He said he€™d be here at seven
The clock just hit 7:22
It€™s too cold outside
To wait for my ride
Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins)

He said he€™d be here at seven
But it just hit 7:35 (already?)
Here in Brockton, Mass.,
I got my thumb in my ass
Mama€™s combing up a big beehive (Celtics)

Where the fuck is he?
Where the fuck is he?

The bitch doesn€™t even bother calling
Even though it€™s 7:44 (I fell asleep, pally)
I€™m feeling kinda antsy
Mama€™s getting fancy
Slicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox)

He said he€™d be here at seven
It€™s closing in on 8:01 (Trimmin€™ the €˜stache, kid)
Me lookin€™ like a sap
In a wool knit cap
Mama€™s next move is a bun (fuckin€™ Patriots)

Where the fuck is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude)
Where the fuck is he? (I couldn€™t find my fuckin€™ snowboots, pal)
I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover)
Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive)

That stupid little punk
He€™s probably fuckin€™ drunk
I bet he drank a case
Wanna pop him in the face right now
Mama€™s eyebrow

Wicked good
Wicked good (Oh, GOD)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Fuck yeah)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Pisser?)

Well my friend is still a no-show
And I€™m getting€™ fucking pissed (Why?)
€˜Cause I could€™ve gone with Charlie
In the side of his Harley
Mama€™s on the phone with a stylist (Fuck Charlie!)

So I guess I ain€™t going out tonight
€˜Cause the digits say 12:09 (Shit-faced)
But call the operator
€˜Cause one perm later
Mama€™s hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!)

Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellin€™ me a wicked funny
joke!)
Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! I forgot it though€)

I wish I had a car
I wish I had a car (A cop pulled me over, buddy)

I wish I went with Charlie (5.2 blood level, state record)
I could have gone with Charlie (I€™m in a wicked mess of trouble, haha!)

He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He got a D.W.I. (Up the river [repeat 9x])
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